framewxrk:

too lazy to masturbate can you do it for me

trillow:

[police officer] “sir are you in possession of any illegal drugs”

“sure thing son whatchu need”

thinsquids:

yeah mom im ok i just dont want to be alive haha

bradtitt:

i always flip the first test page extra loudly just to show everyone that im better than them

image

  • parents: you need to go out more
  • parents: you need to exercise more
  • parents: YOU'RE GOING OUT FOR A WALK??? YOU?????
  • parents: HAHAHA WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO YOU???
  • parents: why are you getting angry

cyberuser:

cyberuser:

vvankinq:

cyberuser:

what do you call a message sent by a girl?

*sighs* what

a feMAIL

i got 7 messages saying this joke is offensive & that i’m the reason feminism exists

(Source: milch)